fucked up proj.

bloody pissed.

u noe, i'm getting really sick and tired.
of that fucked up project.
i'm really pissed with the work & the people.
the usage of that f word is once in a million, so u can imagine the intensity of my frustration.
she is not giving us enuf support.
she expects us to do every little thing on our own.
she isn't very willing to help us abt the ticket prize either.
who was the one who said that we can use college fund first?
she.
who was the one who said, no, we can't use the college fund unless the application from nea is successful?
she.
who expects us to contact the nea when we start sch earlier than nea's office hr & end sch at the same time as them? watsmore, we dun even have breaks in between to call.
who??
she.


i realise i'm always the one planning everything.
even when i'm sick & i tried to get help from my team mates to do abit of my job, i dun see the results.
announcement wasn't made, signup form not up yet, free timings of everyone not fixed.

i'm not trying to blame my teammates la. outside the project, we are best buddies, & very good frens.
but just working on the project itself, i dun see much support from them.
as in..yes they do work. but they dun do it automatically. i've to think & den tell them wat to do & such.
nobody wants to contact with tt 'she' i was talking abt earlier on, so left who to pick up this shit?
me.
ya maybe it wasn't that unreasonable for me to keep in contact with the tchr la, i was the so called leader anyway, though i may not be leading well.

but i thought that one thing's quite clear. when i'm down & can't do anymore of the planning or there to pick up the shit work to contact the tchr in charge, did u all realise the painting works are therefore dragged & u've to also contact her urselves? that feeling of coordinating or arranging things with her isn't good rite? so now u pple unstd wat i'm going thru when i talk to her everytime..and that the project made little little progress because there's always someone to make something happen or tells u to do watever work such that some things happen?

maybe i really can't lead well & not inspiring enough to make my teammates be more enthu abt our project. but i swear, that i tried my best. :( of cos i'm not saying that wa i very impt without me the grp cannot operate or things like that la..i oso got my own bad points & sometimes may make wrong decisions on behalf of the grp oso ma..i'll be glad if my teammates talk abt my weaknesses oso la..den can improve ma..haax.my teammates are always there..to support..jus that sometimes it isn't enough la my point is..hees.

everyone in ny040 is impt. peu & ah huay have good command in English..so they're always the one thinking up announcements & contacting nea..making broadcast slides & signup forms..ah da is the only boy in our team,we need physically strong teammates too. & he's willing to help in little things like making posters & movie ticket vouchers. their efforts oso ought to be recognized & i thank them for everything! :D

but..t's like..whenever i face probs from the tchr in charge & i need someone in the team to discuss things with, it's either they dun reply, or they reply my sms only after the problem was solved after racking my own brain and coming up to a decision myself.

i'm not the only one in the team.but i feel so alone most of the time.
i noe everyone is busy with their committments & somehow they jus have more things to commit than me.
but isn't it a grp decision that we implement our project??
since we've started on it, why not take pride in our work & finish it nicely??
instead of procrastinating & giving a 'can't be very much bothered' attitude towards it..
where is our teamwork? we shld find it back.
it just shows how our attitude will be in the workforce next time.

well, since all of us want to quickly wrap up the project & focus on our studies, i think we shld solve the current problems together as a team, instead of only me being the one bugged by the problems & left alone to deal with tt tchr's shit. i noe my best teammates will surely be there for me..to help combat tt ass.

all in all, the project would've long be successfully implemented if it were some other tchr in charge helping us. perhaps the problems dun lie in anyone in the team, but is all because of our foul luck that we run into this kind of t-i-c.

i jus think that since we're all good frens & buddies, there shldn't be anything to hide. & we wouldn't be mad at one another over this proj. so i'm just sharing wat i feel ever since the proj started. i really hope that they will unstd & solve the problems together, & enjoy the fruit of our labour.

but a fact outside of this project, i just love the way my teammates are, lots.. peu, ah da & ah huay. ((: